hold on to love

In this second week of Advent, I am faced with a lot of realizations. The most important of all is the fact that we are just pilgrims here on earth - that everything we have now is temporary. The security of our career and finances, the self-confidence that we have with our achievements and experience, and even the comfort of family and friends, all these are futile when judgment day comes and we will come before the Lord to see Him face to face.

There are many things people can hold on to, but what I know for sure is that in this life and the next, I will hold on to only one thing. I will be judged by my Creator by this one thing that I have and what I can carry before Him. It is with this one thing that I hope I will be able to fulfill the purpose of my life - the love that I have from the Lord.

We will lose everything we have now, except the love that we have from the Lord.When the day comes that we face the Lord, faith and hope will already be brought to completion - for our faith is already made real before us and our hope is already fulfilled. Such is the reason why the St. Paul says that love is the greatest of all (1 Cor 13:13)!

I will hold on to the love that I have received first from Him. Before Him, at the end of my earthly life, I will give back this love that I have cultivated in my being - my love for Him and my love for my neighbors (Mt 36:40). I pray that my offering may be pleasing to Him. I invite you to pray this with me.

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

- Psalm 136:1

outcast and included

I remember when I was a kid, I used to go out and play with the neighbors from next door. Our families were close. Only a small gate at the side separate our lots. This is where I would pass to go to their house.

On one occasion, their grandmother visited and handed out treats and peso coins to them while we were playing. Realizing I was also there, with my friends (her grand kids) telling her I was from next door, their grandmother gave some coins to me as well. At that time I did not really know how to be embarrassed, but good thing I was also not childish enough to be envious if I were not able to receive any! I said "Thank you," at that time and I remembered how I felt good to receive that treat. I even recall cheerfully mentioning to my parents later on that day that I received such a treat!

I can't exactly remember how my parents reacted to it. I knew I was just thankful. I didn't really deserve the treat as I wasn't part of the family. I didn't expect to receive any as well; but anyway, I got the treat.

"Now he was a Samaritan." - Luke 17:16

I remembered this childhood story of mine as I read the passage of the healing of the ten lepers. After Jesus's miracle, only one came back and gave thanks to Him. The story highlights as well that that only man was a Samaritan - a foreigner and an outcast. Yet, it was he who recognized the blessings and had the initiative to go back and thank the One who healed him.

Such is the case for us sometimes. When it's so familiar to us, we sometimes forget to be thankful of what we already have and think we deserve - even forgetting to simply thank the giver! At other times, when we recognize we do not deserve something, we are more thankful of the things we receive. How weird we can be sometimes.

The message of the Gospel underscored today is simple. The love of the Lord is for everyone. Sinners and saints - He loves us all. His love is inclusive and His love does great things for us. It is my prayer not to forget to thank Him at every moment I remember His goodness for me! I pray that this may be our disposition as we welcome each day of our lives.

"I will bless the Lord at all time; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." - Psalms 34:1

roller coaster

John 16: 5. Roller coaster ride.

Jn 16:7 Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away...

That must have been what the disciples were experiencing at that time. One minute they were exuberantly ascending the road to Jerusalem proclaiming that the Messiah was in their midst, the next minute, they see Him condemned, scourged, and crucified - a most humiliating death for the king of a nation! Then in a middle of their disillusionment and confusion, a miracle happens and their hearts were filled with joy as the promise was fulfilled - Jesus was once again with them. This was only to find out that  after a while He would leave them and return in an uncertain time in the future.

How it must have been a roller coaster ride of emotions indeed for Jesus's dsiciples! The image was striking to me reading the passage as it was what I experienced immediately after the celebrating the feast of Easter and Jesus's resurrection. It was a time where I most exprienced overwhelming joy most especially with good friends and warm relationships sharing the miracle that is Jesus's resurrection in our lives. Just a few days after, however, that joy was shaken. Not shattered, or destroyed, just shaken.

It must have been how the disciples felt. Hearts troubled with the news of their Savior leaving them, they failed to ask the question of where they will go from thereon. Their hearts were just too preoccupied with sorrow. At that moment where my heart was struck with anxiousness, my mind was clouded with disbelief on how such an experience could happen. Of all the times that it could happen, it had to be immediately after such an occasion where everything seemed right?

Yet this was the assurance that Jesus gave when he was about to leave his beloved disciples,

"But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you." - John 16:7

The joy of the resurrection was that the promise of victory over sin was fulfilled. But more than that, it was a time where the Easter Peace was breathed into those who believed. When Jesus left, His words were strong - welcome the One who was sent to be with us. During times when we are shaken, we might fail to remember to cling to not just the Father who is our comforting hand, nor Jesus, our Savior, but the Holy Spirit who is our Advocate and the one who lavishes us with spiritual blessings:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control," - Gal 5:22

Do we really tap the power of the Holy Spirit as we go about our daily lives?

musa sapientum

(An honoring for a brother among brothers in Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon - Makati who will be pursuing graduate studies abroad.)

When we speak of this brother, there is definitely no more question in our minds when I rattle off  the words HARDWORK, DEDICATION and COMMITMENT. Kitang-kita nating lahat 'yan. This is very well manifested in his professional success and position in the company that he has just recently parted with to pursue further studies; in the loving service to his family - supporting his parents back in Bicol, bringing his elder brother closer to God, and even inviting him to Lingkod Makati; and  fulfilling his driver/babysitter duties to his sister and nephews; and of course, in his unwavering commitment to the community - serving the brothers and sisters not just in Makati, but also in Lingkod Davao and even the singles district in Ligaya ng Panginoon. 

Tonight, dahil sa feel ko hindi pa naman nagsawa ang brother na 'to sa mga honoring ko (pang-ilan na 'to bro?),  I want to honor him for three things before payagan natin syang umalis ng Pilipinas para sa NZ. 

GENEROUS  

I want to honor this brother for his generosity. This is a brother who, in St. Paul's encouragement to the Corinthians (2 Cor 8:2), gives according to his means and beyond his means out of his pure heart.  

We can all testify to this. Ako mismo, nabiyayaan nito kasi magkapitbahay kami ng brother na 'to at parati siyang sumasabay sa akin pauwi. hehe This brother's vehicle and his driving skills are always at the disposal of Lingkod Makati for events - that's of course if he's not off to some farm in a faraway province or in a conference somewhere in Asia.  

This brother is not generous only with his physical resources. He also openly shares his leadership and organizational skills having successfully led several community events. Once in a while, in his geek moments (yes, maraming geek sa Lingkod Makati, nagpapanggap lang yung iba na hindi), he shares very useful and informative agricultural facts (amazing yung mga alam ng brother na 'to!). Above all, it is time, the most precious of resources, that he is abundantly generous with. Once, coming from a business trip in Indonesia where he just celebrated his birthday alone, his very first appointment upon arriving in Manila, straight from the airport, was with us, his action group which he led with Paul.  

GENUINE 

Next, I honor this brother for his genuine heart. In the incident I shared where our AG meeting was his first appointment, please note that he didn't even take a leave from that meeting, which was very much understandable if he did! He could have gotten some rest first, or maybe met up with his family to celebrate his birthday, but no. That night, he blessed us with his presence and wisdom. This can only happen when the heart is true to one's commitment. And that, my friends, is because of this brother's sincerity.  

With this brother, what you see is what you get. His support to his family and service to his sisters and brothers in the community comes from a genuinely caring heart. Alam mong 'pag binati ka ng brother na 'to at kinukumusta ka, hindi yun pabati-bati lang. Sabihin mong may concern ka, pag-uwi nyo baka mag-1:1 pa kayo! 

WALANG PINIPILI 

Lastly, gusto kong I-honor ang brother na 'to kasi siya, walang pinipiling taong pinaglilingkuran. His generosity and genuine care is not limited to his family, nor to his community in Lingkod or Ligaya, nor just to his officemates. How you see him being sensitive to the needs of the people that he knows is the same genuine service and care that he blesses other people around him such as the taxi driver or the saleslady he speaks with or even the stranger he sits besides with. Using his own words from a recent discussion, although medyo iba nang konti ang context ng pinag-uusapan namin noon, *ehem*, sabi nya, "...one really has to go out of one's comfort zone and think of the other person." *cough* alam na *cough* 

I was led to these words of St. Ignatius of Loyola while preparing for this honoring:  

 "Love consists in sharing what one has and what one is with those one loves." 

I could not explain more how fitting this description of love is based on what we concretely experience from the service and care of our dear brother, Spencer. His generosity overflows from a genuine heart that blesses everyone around him. He radiates a profound joy that can only come from being firmly rooted in the Lord. 

To honor Spence, a unique character in the midst of a Lingkod branch filled with bankers, accountants, auditors, business analysts, and entrepreneurs, I'd like to throw a question to everyone here tonight: Kung si Spence ay isang halaman, anong halaman siya para sa 'yo? 

I entitled this honoring Musa Sapientum, which means "fruit of the wise men." This is a nod to the geek moments that we will probably miss from the only agriculturist in the branch. Musa Sapientum, for those who know, and of course for Spence who knows, is the scientific name for the humble banana.

Maraming backstory bakit saging yung pinili ko kaso di ko na makwento sa honoring na 'to. Pero para mashare ko lang, etong brother na 'to, sumesenti 'to. Pansinin niyo FB wall niya. If the photo collages that he makes are not enough proof for you, pansinin nyo mga muni-muni na pinpost nya! At dahil dyan bro, para sa akin, kung ikaw ay isang halaman, ikaw ay isang saging - pinipitas, binabalatan, nilalaga, piniprito, kinakain…pero higit sa lahat isa kang saging kasi ang saging lang ang may puso. (BOOM.) 

Kidding aside, Spence, we are all excited for the adventures of the student life ahead of you. You are no stranger to travelling and settling down in new places every once in a while, but nevertheless, know that we are and will always  be here to support you. We will just be here in Makati and BGC *wink* when you get back after the couple of years. We will definitely miss one of those with the warmest smile and the tightest hug that greets everyone at events. That's you, by the way! Until then, our branch theme for the year could not be any more apt in leading our prayers for you:  

Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. (1 Cor 16:13-14) 

Just as you lifted up the desires of your heart and discerned the Lord's will in the next chapter of your life, stand firm in your faith. Continue to serve the Lord in love in the new mission field that He has led you to, Bro. All the best and God bless! 

first loved

I recently saw this from a friend's post on Facebook.

"You're nobody til somebody loves you."

Call me an old soul but the first song that came into my mind was the American standard sung by Dean Martin. Gentlemen back then had C.L.A.S.S. (Though, forgive me, maybe my friend was referring to the song by James Arthur with the same title!)

These gentlemen have flair, I tell you. Brace yourself at 1:20!

Anyway, back to my point, I was actually more interested in the various responses to the post. Here were my thoughts upon reading them:

"I beg to disagree," - Alright! I feel you.
"Loving someone or being loved by someone should not define you. There is more to you than just loving someone. There is more to you than being loved," - Hmm...
"Not true. Love yourself," - Woah. Hold on there... Let's clarify that a bit.

Honestly, had I read these comments a year ago, I would have dug them and agreed with them, at least to some extent. However, a lot can change in a year - including finally being able to somewhat sustain a blog (Ohyeah. *patting myself on the back*). I'd like to highlight that change in perspective by pointing out that it started when I felt the warm truth of the words below. (Please take note of the operative word 'felt,' as opposed to 'fully understanding.')

"We love, because He first loved us." - 1 John 4:19

Lets break down my reactions to the comments in the post.

1. Yes, we are NOBODY until somebody loves us. 

I cannot emphasize that enough. It's not depressing as you think it is even if you're thinking that you're still single, or that your family doesn't love you (which I doubt) or that the whole world just doesn't seem to care about you. The good news is that there was never a time that you were not loved! 

We were born out of love - not just from our parents' but most of all from the Love that conceived us way before everything was created. God created every one of us out of his unbounded love for us. Whether we eat our fries with ketchup or ice cream, we sing our favorite song in tune or off key, or drink martinis shaken, not stirred, God loves us. He loves us and every little quirk that makes us who we are. We were somebody even before we started to think we wanted to be somebody.

2. We love. 

The second comment is a bit tricky. I would have somewhat agreed to it before; but here's where my problem with the statement lies - God is Love (1 Jn 4:8)! He's the very reason we are here. If you haven't come to terms with that yet, please go back to number one above.

Being loved by God defines who I am. Loving someone out of the goodness that was shown to me by God's love is what I strive to do; for if I were created by God in His image, loving others defines who I am. There is nothing more than to love as God loves me. 

 3. Love God first. 

When I was on the bandwagon of subscribing to the trendy self-help top lists online, I realized they were just endless lists and countless ways to confuse myself! 10 Things to Do to be Truly Happy, 3 Secrets of Happy and Successful People, 20 Ways to Love About Yourself in Your 20s - sound familiar? Oh yes, we've read them all. They struck our hearts and brightened up our days. How could they not? Out of the twenty items on the list, there was bound to be at least one item that made you go, uh-huh!

I see these lists now as vain, youthful *ehem* attempts to make sense of our feelings about this world around us. Yes, they hit home, especially for the younger generation, but it just distracts us from the rational and wonderful truth: God loves us. 'Nuff said. Here's a quip from a favorite radio show host of mine (check out his podcasts in Catholic Answers Live if you want to know more about the faith!):

 God loves us and there's nothing you can do about it! 

I love how he ends every show with this cheeky, lighthearted truth. Here's the catch, there are endless things you can do in response to knowing that God loves you. There are just so many ways you can pass this on and share the message about the warmth of his love. I will be sad for you if the first thing on your to-do list is to love yourself! 

Love God first, my friend, and you will find out there's more to life than what you have imagined it to be! (1 Cor 2:9)

embodied spirits

We are embodied spirits. 

This is one of three key things  I remember Bishop Soc Villegas emphasized in one of his homilies I attended. He drove this point during a huge gathering of Catholic communities a year ago on the feast of Christ the King. He shared this as a reminder for us that we were never meant to stay on this earth; we were meant for eternal life. 

I was reminded of this today during the mass offered for our dearly departed on All Souls Day. The priest shared a notable moment in his experience with the dying serving as the chaplain for an infirmary. The priest recounted that many times, during the last moments of the dying, the person would let out a huge breath, his last, as if he were letting out his soul - releasing it from the bondage of the human body. I witnessed this very recently, seeing the moment firsthand, as I bid goodbye to my dearest mother. 

What do we hold on to after experiencing or even just witnessing such moments? 

I remember during the last moments when my mom could still speak, she would tell us, "Kapoy, kapoy," (I'm tired, I'm tired). After years of struggling and bearing the physical pain, when she let out that deep breath, the words of the apostle Paul rang clear in my mind. In his letter to the Romans (8:18), Paul mentions of the glory that is to be revealed to us beyond the sufferings we endure here on earth. "Di na siya kapuyon," (She will no longer have to bear the pain), I said to my brother and father while still looking at my mom and holding her hand. I then read aloud our Lord's words through St. Paul's letter.

What do we hope for our dearly departed when we pray and offer masses for them?

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God. (Wisdom 3:1)

We pray together as one community of believers that the Lord may look kindly upon the souls of our beloved and that they may experience His compassionate and loving embrace. This is our hope - for our loved ones and for our very own souls.

It is my prayer that we, pilgrims here on earth, may continue to live a life that our loved ones wanted for us, and most of all, a life honorable to the One God we believe in. After all, death is inevitable and we are embodied spirits. 

joyful service

"Let the word of God dwell in you richly." Col 3:16

Me: Ito po. I'll buy these, please. *handing the two books to the sister manning the booth*

Sister: Pari po kayo? Are you a priest?

Me: Hindi po! No, sorry! 

It was a funny encounter with a Pauline sister selling their products outside the parish after Sunday mass. A few thoughts ran through my mind after that incident:

1. She must have thought about giving appropriate greetings to a priest if I were one. 
2. I probably need to grow this beard a bit longer to have a bit of the bad boy image so as not to be mistaken for a priest!
3. The common situation may be that someone as young as me would not be buying these copies. It's a reasonable thought. I can say that not many of my friends would get a copy and read these. From my community, Lingkod, or for some of my college friends (I graduatedfrom a Jesuit-run university), yes; for others, probably not.

On the third point, this would be something to ponder on. These apostolic exhortations that I bought copies of are addressed to the bishops, clergy, consecrated persons and the lay faithful on the proclamation of the Gospel in today's world. Lay faithful. In this Year of the Laity as established by the Catcholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, this could not be a more appropriate material to read for Catholics. 

In a lot of Pope Francis's recent exhortations and public messages, and even Pope Emeritus Benedict's strong encouragement as he published the YOUCAT, the youth is even more encouraged to take on the task of evangelization. This task, they said can be done most effectively by knowing what one believes in and leading a life of joy with Him. I support them in their message that truly, the bigger task of bringing God's word to everyone rests on the tech savvy, freshly creative and energetic youth!

I am constantly grateful to be part of a community of single young professionals dedicated to serve God. It gives me much encouragement and support to be in their company to live a life pleasing the One who gifted us with this life and carrying out that task of proclaiming his love to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). It's a tall order to follow Him but I know I can only do it with his Spirit and with the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

I encourage you, dear reader, that if there is any inkling to serve or a hint of desire to know more about Him, reach out to people who you know can help guide you in your path to knowing Christ. Everything starts with the desire to know Him more. I know that's where I started. To those in a relationship with Him but are somehow bogged down with the daunting task of serving him, take courage! (Joshua 1:9) Where I am now, looking back, I'm thankful to have responded and continue to respond to His call. It's not an easy task, nor is my response perfect, but it is a desire I do not wish to extinguish.

Bring the undiminished fire of your love into this Church whose countenance has so often been disfigured by man, "Never flag in zeal, be aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord!" (Rom 12:11) - Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI