lauds

I sat beside you on your bed, invoked the Holy Presence and murmured it under my breath. When I saw that look of affirmation I knew you wanted me to speak louder. It wasn't that I was shy to say the prayer with you with other people in the opposite side of the room. I just wanted to share the moment with you like that last time when I went home for the weekend. We chanted the Lauds together. I knew that made you happy. I was joyful to share that moment with you.

As I read the psalm, still in a low voice so no one else can hear but just you and me, I couldn't help but look at you as I mouthed the words from the psalmist. If only you could speak to tell me something, but I understand, each word you muster would take your breath away so easily. Instead I saw that look of affection in your eyes. My heart wept.

I never got to finish the rest of the morning prayers with you. I was too shy to share that intimate moment with other people in the room. The nurses also came in to do their routine health check - what a lame excuse.

There's that pang of regret on why I couldn't finish it or why I couldn't recite it louder or even chant those prayers for you. I can tell myself now that every time I chant the Lauds and give glory to our Lord at the start of the day, I know I will share it with you.

But it will never be the same as having you say the prayers me. It will never be the same as saying them with you even if you just breathed the words of praise to our Lord with me as I tightly held your hand.

keystone habits

The human mind is an irrational mind. No matter how much we think we are in control, we never are. We will always be bound to the natural systems working in our bodies - hormones, evolutionary instincts and whatnot. 

There are plenty of ways to beat these biases and natural body responses to stimuli. Behavioral science studies have a lot on this. You can always check them out. I know I have. I've read a lot on behavioral science and on researches in an effort to really be aware of how my body works and how I can overcome its tendencies so that I can use them to my advantage. 

I've gone from time management to stress management, to how to beat biases when dealing with money, etc. There's one thing that really struck me as essential: it's building a habit. Be it simply having that regular check of asking myself if a particular bias is in play or adjusting my body posture  to prime myself before taking an interview, habits are essential ways to beat being controlled by our bodies' natural tendencies and irrational behavior.

This is why I fell in love with keystone habits. These habits are called keystones since these pave the way toward building other beneficial habits once you establish them. You can check out a lot about keystone habits online. I won't be talking about them here. What I'd like to share is how I'm applying the concept in my daily grind. 

I blended this with the IF, THEN or conditional pattern of effectively establishing a habit. Here's an example of what I do below. I've been doing it for three weeks now, and I still have a long way to go before I establish it as a habit - yes, it takes more than just twenty-one days, it takes sixty-six days to be exact (Google it!). 

1. Don't get off the bed unless you're done with your prayer time (chanting the Liturgy of the Hour, short worship, intercession, scripture meditation).
2. Don't get out of the room to take a bath unless you finish your exercise (I started with forty push ups and squats, but I'm planning to up the ante and squeeze in other exercises like planks).
3. Don't leave the room without making your bed. I picked this up from a military man's speech online and true enough, it works wonders: nothing feels better after a long day than going back to your room knowing you have a made up bed waiting for you! 

I'm on my third week and it feels good to actually be able to do the series of activities at the start of my morning. I've been adding a few stuff on top of these habits and I must say I'm doing pretty good in building them up. I have unavoidable slip ups from time to time but these are actually expected and does not significantly affect your habit forming pattern (unless of course it's already a habit of missing it in itself!)

I'm sure you can build your own keystone habit as well. Start with something small like making your bed and you'll never know where you'll go from there! As for me, I'll probably have to build a habit to push myself to sleep earlier and get the rest that I need. 

Cheers!

the inner room

We have plenty of those moments when we just want to get away from the busyness of life, go into a room and lock ourselves in. We just want to be in that faraway island or in that sanctuary where we can find peace away from all distractions. It is where we can just be with ourselves. If only we can. The thing is, we can; we can, if we choose to.

Personally, I found this very hard to do.  For a long time I've always wanted to carve out time to just be alone and reflect on things. It is in my prayer time that I find the comfort and peace amid all the pressure and busyness of life and I've always struggled to establish that sacred time to be with the Lord. At times, I still struggle.

Recently in one of my walks to the office, I was stopped dead in my tracks by something and was compelled to share it with friends in Facebook.

"We need not climb mountains nor swim the depths of the seas to appreciate the beauty nature has to offer.
Sometimes we just have to go to work!"

Sometimes we struggle too much to get away from our busy lives and 'escape reality' for a bit that we fail to remember that it is in the middle of all of it that we can find our peace. I was reminded of just that when I saw this flower that I just passed by and ignored daily for months! Yes, we deserve and need those out-of-town long vacations, but it is also in moments such as the one I experienced above that I believe we are refreshed and reconnected with ourselves. It is in these moments that we are sustained daily.

But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. (Mt 6:6)

In the passage above, Jesus reminds us to pray in spirit and in truth to our Father. It is in the inner room, into our innermost being that we can connect and be with Him. We can do this not just by physically isolating ourselves from the world but also by just being in the world.