contagious when one

Come, Holy Spirit, live in us
With God the Father and the Son,
And grant us your abundant grace
To sanctify and make us one. 

That mind and tongue made strong in love
Your praise throughout the world proclaim,
And may that love within our hearts
Set fire to others with its flame.

Most blessed Trinity of love, 
For whom the heart of man was made, 
To you be praise in timeless song, 
And everlasting homage paid.

Stanbrook Abbey Hymnal

keystone habits

The human mind is an irrational mind. No matter how much we think we are in control, we never are. We will always be bound to the natural systems working in our bodies - hormones, evolutionary instincts and whatnot. 

There are plenty of ways to beat these biases and natural body responses to stimuli. Behavioral science studies have a lot on this. You can always check them out. I know I have. I've read a lot on behavioral science and on researches in an effort to really be aware of how my body works and how I can overcome its tendencies so that I can use them to my advantage. 

I've gone from time management to stress management, to how to beat biases when dealing with money, etc. There's one thing that really struck me as essential: it's building a habit. Be it simply having that regular check of asking myself if a particular bias is in play or adjusting my body posture  to prime myself before taking an interview, habits are essential ways to beat being controlled by our bodies' natural tendencies and irrational behavior.

This is why I fell in love with keystone habits. These habits are called keystones since these pave the way toward building other beneficial habits once you establish them. You can check out a lot about keystone habits online. I won't be talking about them here. What I'd like to share is how I'm applying the concept in my daily grind. 

I blended this with the IF, THEN or conditional pattern of effectively establishing a habit. Here's an example of what I do below. I've been doing it for three weeks now, and I still have a long way to go before I establish it as a habit - yes, it takes more than just twenty-one days, it takes sixty-six days to be exact (Google it!). 

1. Don't get off the bed unless you're done with your prayer time (chanting the Liturgy of the Hour, short worship, intercession, scripture meditation).
2. Don't get out of the room to take a bath unless you finish your exercise (I started with forty push ups and squats, but I'm planning to up the ante and squeeze in other exercises like planks).
3. Don't leave the room without making your bed. I picked this up from a military man's speech online and true enough, it works wonders: nothing feels better after a long day than going back to your room knowing you have a made up bed waiting for you! 

I'm on my third week and it feels good to actually be able to do the series of activities at the start of my morning. I've been adding a few stuff on top of these habits and I must say I'm doing pretty good in building them up. I have unavoidable slip ups from time to time but these are actually expected and does not significantly affect your habit forming pattern (unless of course it's already a habit of missing it in itself!)

I'm sure you can build your own keystone habit as well. Start with something small like making your bed and you'll never know where you'll go from there! As for me, I'll probably have to build a habit to push myself to sleep earlier and get the rest that I need. 

Cheers!

why date?

Here's an observation, some people are appalled (or maybe just a bit concerned?) to hear of grade school kids dating and say that they're just too young for these kinds of things. Well, at least that's true for us here in the Philippines. 

Where are people coming from when they say this? Is it because this is what we heard our parents say when we were young? Is it because we know and feel that these kids can busy themselves with more important things than impressing the opposite sex at their age?

Wherever it is, I'd like to throw that question back to the older ones, what makes us more qualified to date around at our age? Wisdom? Maturity? (I know of high school kids having a more mature mindset than 20-year olds.) If the older ones are for these kinds of stuff, why are a lot of people at the 'right age' so wrecked and confused while dating around?

The thing is, it's not about age. Partly, it's maturity in character. But an important thing we might want to look at is, what really is the purpose of dating?

"The essence of the problem is that dating has become detached from the process of looking for a marriage partner, that is, from courtship, and has become a form of recreation." -K. Wilson

How about you, what's your take on dating?

abide in Him and ask

For a couple of weeks I was physically drained, emotionally burdened and spiritually restless. I felt like that smartphone that never got fully charged - just having burst of charging periods allowing me to cruise and do my tasks at sixty percent and never a hundred.

I attended a talk last Monday sponsored by the community I'm in. It was about God's love. I (or at least tried to) memorized a recommended passage for personal reflection that night. I didn't really get much from it as I remember sleeping halfway before I could commit the whole text to memory.

As I woke up the next morning, I recalled and felt the baggage I was carrying from the previous weeks. I prayed. I just wanted peace. Peace to dedicate more of my time in prayer with Him. Peace to be able to balance and focus my energy on giving my best on the things that needed to be done. I recalled the passage I was memorizing the night before and mustered as much of the text I could remember:

If you abide in me and my words abide in you, 

ask whatever you will, and it shall be given to you.

John 15:7

The message was as clear as it could be. My soul was then at peace.

Coming from the talk that Monday night, it was said that sometimes, like kids, we might think of God as Santa - your Christmas wish is granted if you've been a good boy. After what happened to me that morning where I found peace as I asked for it, I tried to reconcile how this was any different. Why do we continue to ask for things from him anyway? Wouldn't it be somehow still like that kid waiting for Santa to grant him his wish? Besides, ask and you shall receive, right?

The difference is in the underlying reason on why we ask for things. We are like the kid if we only think of God as the provider who gives us whatever we need whenever we need them. While it is somehow still true, the moment we rely on God as the source of all things changes things. Most importantly, the reason of being able to serve and glorify Him more through the things we wish to accomplish sets things differently. It does not anymore becomes a one-way street of receiving but a two-way highway of giving back to Him as well.

When we realize that everything, including our lives is a gift, we realize that what we can truly just do is be grateful and beg for the grace and gifts to be able to use them effectively in glorifying and spreading His name.

By this the Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, 
and so prove to be my disciples.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you;
abide in my love.

John 15:8-9

P.S. The community I'm in is Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon (Servants of the Lord) - Makati branch. We just kicked off the Christian Life Series for single young professionals this Monday  in the area of Bonifacio Global City, Taguig.

knowing what to do

How do we balance our activities when at the back of our minds we know that some things can be counter-intuitively unproductive?

We turn to unending top lists in the internet, researches on psychology, pieces of advice from self-help coaches and eventually just end up with "What do I really want to do?"

Yet we still end up lost and confused.

Maybe it's because we haven't really asked the One who knows everything and who knows what's best for us. 

every day a victory

If every start of your day is a struggle then consider every end of it a victory. Rejoice in the little things, friends! 

someone understands

There are times when we feel we are restless because of too many things pouncing on us. Too many things to do, too many things to be done and too many things to just even think of.

When life is pulling you from all directions, all you just want to do is teleport to a secluded place and *poof* hopefully things just stay quiet for a while. Sadly, this isn't just the case. Yes, you might find a way to physically isolate yourself from the chaos but this is only to find yourself still restless and unable to get that peace you imagined. This was because even if the chaos from the world was eliminated, what wasn't was the restlessness and the chaos which was inside of you in the first place.

I find this realization sad. Imagine, you take all those measures to get that peace you've always wanted, think that you've finally got it, only to discover that it's just not going to happen! At this point, you just feel helpless that sometimes you either just resign and go back to the busy world burying yourself in work and all other activities or stay in that secluded space you've picked out, yet still do nothing to address these things - in a state of limbo.

This story is a familiar one as I read a passage from the ministry of Jesus:

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (Mt 9:35)

As I repeated the passage over and over, I was struck with the phrase: he had compassion for them. During these moments of confusion, it's but wonderful to realize that there is someone who cares for us and understands us in our helplessness. When we think no one understands how we feel, we're wrong. When we think that we're all alone in our mess, we're wrong. There is someone up there that we can talk to who understands exactly where we are in our lives and how we feel.

I can just imagine how many people today find themselves in cases where they are just piled up with so many things that sometimes leave them helpless and confused. Count me in as one of them. I do not claim to have the answer to address that feeling of being lost. Hey, as I said, I'm part of the club. What I can claim is this - we are not alone. You are never alone.

In response to Jesus's compassion, he addressed his apostles to pray for the Lord of the Harvest to send laborers into this harvest. We can do just that - beyond just praying, we can be the laborers of this harvest ourselves. Hey, Jesus never said that the laborers be perfect themselves. In these times of restlessness, yes, it may be the perfect time to fix yourself and get that self-recovery that you need. These may be the times as well when you can understand others more and serve them. In the sincere effort to help them out, the Lord can grant the grace of clarity in your own life. This is my prayer for you and for all of us.

Is there anything I can help you with?