Friday, April 11, 2014

on failing commitments

There are times when we fail our commitments. As much as we live up to our commitments and really move heaven and earth to fulfill them, there are times when we just fall short.

I can definitely say that I've probably failed in my commitment to regularly post on this blog. Although I made some provisions in that commitment to technically leave me scot-free, then again, who am I really fooling but myself!

Don't get me wrong. I do not intend to continue with this post advocating that it's okay to forego commitments and knowingly allow ourselves to fail them. If one makes a commitment, it should be valued and fulfilled. As its etymology points out: com as to bring together and mittere, same as in mission,  as to put or to send, a commitment is bringing all of one's being to fulfill a purpose or objective. What I want to focus, however, is what one should be wary of when making one and failing it.

Human as we are, we fail. This reality of failure is a splash of cold water that just freezes us dead in our tracks. After all, if one really valued a commitment that was made, failing it is charged against one's whole being that was put together and thrown to fulfill a purpose. This paralysis is dangerous. It not only stops us from picking up ourselves and making up for the commitment that we've failed, but it also sometimes lead us to a downward spiral of just not caring about what we committed to in the first place.

Here are a few things that I have come to reflect as I struggled within myself to type up a post and break the not-so-fruitful fast in blog posting:

1. I am not alone in my commitment. A commitment is never isolated. Even if one says that it is just a commitment to oneself, it is still a commitment to the persons one interacts with day by day. A commitment to get better at small talk, for example, is a commitment to build new and strengthen current relationships. You owe it to these persons to live up to your commitment and you can bet that if given the opportunity, they would support you with it. You only have to tell them!

It is by experience that I tell you that it is hard to fulfill a commitment when I just keep it to myself. I started this blog knowing that; hence I shared it with a few people whom I knew would push me at times like these to just write and come up with a new post.

2. There is a reason why I made the commitment. Sometimes I make a list of commitments and after a period of time wonder why I was working my way through them one at a time, failing them. For one, I look at my list and I realize it's just impossible to fulfill all of them. One can only do so much. It simply takes humility to be aware one's limitations - if only we we're made to run on batteries and just switch them with new ones once they run out!

Another thing is that when looking at the list and running my life by the items on the list, sometimes my day just becomes a checklist of things that I've done and not done. What happens is that I forget the main reasons why I even came up with those commitments. Going back to the values you hold dear is crucial as they would be your reference point when your commitments are challenged or when they conflict each other. What is important is to go back to the essentials.

When I made the commitment to regularly post in this blog, I made all the conscious effort to adjust my schedule and really allot time for me to draft a post. It cannot be avoidable, however, that these plans will be challenged as other things press on - truthfully essential personal reasons and commitments. During those times, I was consciously aware I was failing my commitment to blog (also thanks to the people in my support group) and when I got the opportunity, got back to it again - grateful as well with the realizations that I just had to share it in this comeback post.

3. I am a work in progress. Again, I truly believe that commitments should be valued and held on to. It is hard to find persons of character these days. Even these persons of characters would experience failures. What is noteworthy is how these persons would acknowledge their failures against the commitment they have made and collect themselves again, ready to recommit and cement their word another time around.

I am fortunate to be surrounded with these persons of character whom I interact with daily. I draw inspiration and most importantly support from them in developing the virtue of living up to my commitments.

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We have our reasons when we commit to something. The reason why we make commitments is to build our character and make a purposeful impact in the worlds we are living in. Making a dent in the world we want to be in requires sharing these commitments with persons equally fired up and committed to the same purpose. Personally, more than just the people around me, I draw strength to live out my committed Christian life from the One True Source.




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